Clarity

I'm getting clear on my book.

When I started writing it, I was focused on becoming an advocate for depression awareness and suicide prevention.  I knew that I wanted to share my story with the intention of helping others.  But as time went on, I kept getting “stuck." I’d take long breaks from my writing, and I would become frustrated and aggravated due to lack of progress.  I thought that I wasn't moving forward fast enough.  Feelings of guilt would flood in, and I couldn’t understand why it was taking me so long to finish. I set deadlines, and they'd pass by at lightning speed.

I now realize that I wasn’t progressing because the book wasn’t evolving the way it was supposed to.  I knew, in my heart, that this book would have the power to help people.  But the way I was writing it wasn’t accomplishing that goal.  And as humbling as this is to admit, my book would have been irresponsible and potentially destructive had I continued on the path that I was on.  I now realize that it was my perspective that was blocking me.  I had too much anger, resentment, fear and self-doubt inside of me.

Truth be told, I had work to do… work on myself.  While writing the book, I realized something profound:  I had to heal myself in order to truly help others.  So, I started working... soul searching, confronting my ego, diving deep into my stories and re-evaluating the belief systems that do not serve me or those around me.  I enrolled in an extensive transformational leadership program called "Gratitude Training."  Imagine... being grateful for everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING).  

Instead of approaching my book from a 'victim' perspective, I now see that I have the power to make positive change from the inside out.  And with this power, I have the ability to authentically help others.  

This is what my book is about:  I'm sharing my transformational story by standing in the light while evaluating my journal entries that were written years ago, from a place of darkness.  I am changing my outlook on life in order to live a more fulfilling existence and inspire others to do the same.

A friend recently invited me to look up the definition of forgiveness.  This is what I read:

(Wikipedia): Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

When we hold onto hurt, anger and resentment, we block ourselves from living an authentic life.  I continued my research and was excited to find this article: 

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

I believe that we must first forgive ourselves for holding onto ideas and beliefs that do not serve us or the world at large.

My perspective is shifting...  And with this shift, the end of my book became the beginning.  The road blocks have cleared.  Two months ago, I was invited to join the Board of Directors for the Tampa Bay Chapter of the National Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  I'm well on my way now...  I'm promoting a cause that I believe in and sharing a story that's written from a place of truth:  from my heart.

I'm setting an intention to have my book published with Louise Hay:  Hay House Publishing.  It's a big goal, and I WILL make it happen.

DREAM BIG.  LIVE to your fullest potential. SHINE on.  I love you.